5 Off-Beat Sex Trends

Open your mind (and body) to these practices—or don't

In a classic 1970 psychology experiment, Stanford researchers offered children a marshmallow treat, but said the kids could have two marshmallows if they waited 15 minutes to eat them. Follow-up studies showed the tykes who were willing to delay their gratification ended up as more successful adults, with higher SAT scores, incomes, and more.

Those patient kids-turned-adults will probably love “edging”—a.k.a., the stop-and-start method: Alone or with a partner, you work yourself up to the very precipice of orgasm . . . and then you stop. After you’ve calmed down a bit, you resume sex or masturbation and do it all over again—as many times as you can stand it. It’s the sexual equivalent of the Stanford marshmallow experiment. (You might have recently seen it on Orange Is the New Black.)

What’s the point? “When you finally allow yourself to orgasm, it will feel much more powerful and rewarding,” explains Emily Morse, Ph.D., a nationally recognized sex expert. Edging requires time—and a lot of patience. But there is a payoff at the end, she says.

Not all sex trends are quite so rewarding. Here are four more you may want to try—or not.

Marinating

It’s just like sex—without the effort or payoff. After inserting your penis into your partner’s vagina, you simply lie there, Morse explains. Because pre-marital sex is off limits for some religious groups, there are reports this practice evolved—some say among Mormon college students—as a way to skirt the rules. Since there’s no movement, you could argue you’re not having sex, Morse says. “But it doesn’t seem very pleasurable,” she adds.

Apart from not being fun or rewarding, it’s also not clear if this is really a trend, or just an urban legend, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a sex researcher from Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute. (In case you were wondering, Herbenick says there’s little to no risk of impregnating a woman if you don’t ejaculate into her.)

Karezza

You could consider this a variation of edging. In its simplest terms, karezza is an attempt to shift you and your partner’s focus away from orgasm and on to the rest of intercourse, Morse explains. You engage in slow, passionate sex while keeping your mind glued to the pleasure of the moment—as opposed to anticipation or eagerness for the big O at the end. “For some people, denying the orgasm is more rewarding than having orgasms,” Morse says. “Karezza is about going slow and enjoying the journey without worrying the whole time about orgasm.

Penis Rings

These are huge right now, Morse says. If you’re not familiar, a penis ring is just what it sounds like: it goes around your manhood and slightly constricts blood flow, which can keep you from ejaculating and make you harder than you normally would be, she explains. Also, many types vibrate, which is great for your partner. “The ring hits her clitoris and stimulates her right where she wants it,” says Morse, adding that men report liking the vibrations a lot as well. Morse recommends the Mio from Je Joue ($99, JeJoue.com) as a safe, effective model.

Photo courtesy of Je Joue

Tantric Sex

Part of the broader, Eastern meditation concept of tantra, this style of sex is all about “connecting your body to your partner’s body” through techniques like coordinated breathing and reciprocal massage, Morse says. While there are many, many ways to practice tantric sex, the key is to throw off any sense of taboo or shame you may associate with sex and embrace it as a powerful and liberating experience, she adds. She recommends starting your evening with an hour of massage, which will arouse your senses and make you both more aware of each other’s body.

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5 Sex Moves She's Afraid to Try

In theory, these positions are totally hot. In reality? Tough to pull off

Let's say you surprise your partner with a pair of handcuffs—in the middle of an encounter. While she might be excited at first, anxiety has a funny way of wriggling its way between the sheets. "She might think, Where are things going?" says Yvonne Fulbright, Ph.D., author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking. And that's quickly followed by: "I have to change course quickly, so I don't get myself into something I'm not up for," she says. 

Why? Your girlfriend may be afraid of losing control, letting you see her body from an unflattering angle, or feeling physically uncomfortable—even though she's totally into the idea of trying something a little crazy. 

So which moves might she be dying to test drive, but just needs a little nudge to let loose? Read on to find out—then try our strategies for encouraging her to get freaky.

Legs Over Her Head

This missionary modification is anything but vanilla: With her legs thrown back over her head, your partner is totally exposed and flaunting her flexibility—which can be a turn-on for both of you. The problem: "A lot of women are afraid they're going to queef, because they've done it in yoga class," says Jaiya, author of Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible. And speaking of yoga, unless she's regularly hitting the mat, your girlfriend may find this position to be more painful than pleasurable.

Enhance her pleasure: This move should notbe your opening act of the night. Start with other, less-demanding positions to warm her up physically and mentally, says Fulbright. Even after you've limbered up, ease into the acrobatics: Start with her knees drawn into her chest, so her calves are pressed against your upper body, then eventually have her put just one leg on your shoulder. Before you shift to both legs over her head, make sure you have a pillow on hand, in case she wants to prop up her butt. "That way, she's more supported, and it's not so much of an acrobatic act," says Jaiya.

Reverse Cowgirl

While you're taking in the glorious view, your partner may be freaking out: Does my butt look dimply? Do I have back fat? Is he getting bored? "With reverse cowgirl, there's a lack of connectedness," says Fulbright. As a result, she has trouble gauging your pleasure—and without that positive feedback, it's tough to override her discomfort at being on display. 

Enhance her pleasure: Remind her that you're behind her—and totally loving the experience. "Place your hands on her hips, rub your hands up and down her thighs, cup her breasts," suggests Fulbright. "And give her verbal affirmation: moan, groan, and let her know that it's pleasurable."

69 Position

In theory, 69 is the ideal position for oral: You're simultaneously giving and receiving—which makes a normally solo act a mutual one. But anyone who's tried it knows that the execution is tricky. "There is so much to focus on," says Jaiya. Think about it: Your partner not only has all the normal anxieties of oral—How do I taste? Do I smell bad? Am I taking too long?—but is also concerned with whether you're headed to the finish line. There's also the issue of biomechanics: If you're 6-feet tall and she's 5-foot-5, your mouths and genitals aren't going to perfectly align. 

Enhance her pleasure: Instead of going down on her, stimulate her clitoris with your fingers or a vibrator, says Jaiya. And don't be afraid to stray from the standard position: Lie side by side, rather than with her on top of you, and use pillows to prop up your heads and separate your legs. This gives you easier access to her hot spots—and helps you both avoid neck cramps.

G-Spot Stimulation

Stimulating her G-spot can open up a whole new world of pleasure—or embarrassment. "Women are afraid they're going to pee," says Jaiya. This may, in part, be due to unrealistic expectations about female ejaculation: "Women think it's supposed to be a waterfall," says Fulbright. "But, really, the amount varies from dribbling to squirting." Another source of anxiety: Once she's close to climaxing, pushing out her pelvic floor muscles can intensify her experience—but she may be afraid of pushing something else out: a fart. 

Enhance her pleasure: Let her know that anyresponse is a turn-on, whether she can't climax or the flood gates break forth. Then have her assume this position: flat on her back, with her knees against her abdomen. "That allows you easier access to the front wall of her vagina," says Fulbright. As you stimulate her G-spot with a "come hither" motion, solicit feedback along the way. "If you ask, 'Does this feel good?' she will usually say 'yes,' " says Jaiya. "But when you give her choices—like, 'Here is faster. Here is slower. Which do you prefer?'—you will learn what feels best."

Bondage

We're as tired of the whole Fifty Shades thing as you—but women are only getting started. "I cannot tell you how many women are emailing me and calling my office because they want to have kinky sex, but they're scared to try it," says Jaiya. "It's very intimidating. But women really want to be ravished." Why bondage in particular? It's a little less psychologically risky than, say, being whipped or verbally dominated, says Fulbright. "You become somebody's plaything, whereas S&M is a little more severe." 

Enhance her pleasure: If you live near a big city, consider signing up for an erotic workshop at a sex-toy shop (try Liberator or Babeland stores). As awkward as it sounds, learning specific—and safe—techniques can help both of you loosen up about getting tied up. No classes near you? Pick up a copy of Best Bondage Erotica 2014, and recreate one of the book's scenes, which can be easier than coming up with your own sexy scenarios. "You have a better sense of where things are going, what you should be doing, and what's gotten other people hot," Fulbright says.

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Source: Men's Health